The Power of Grace

I find it both amazing and frustrating when the Holy Spirit reveals the meaning of His promises. I find it amazing because it is confirmation that God is truthful when He says He wants to bring me life. Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) I find it frustrating, because when the Holy Spirit gives new insight into an old subject, the only words I have to describe the revelation are words that have been used over and over again from others. I want to be able to explain things differently so that people hear truth, and not clichés. These next thoughts are my attempt to do just that, emphasis on attempt.

My hope through this post is to bring direct glory and praise to God, and inspire you to seek a relationship with Him beyond religious practices. You see, the only way to grow in Christ is to have a relationship with Him. Yeah, I know . . . this is a Christian cliché, but it shouldn’t be because it is something I am learning to be truer with each passing breath. For example, I have been practicing the religion of Christianity for 23 years and it has done nothing for me except make me a class act citizen and moral human being. Do not misunderstand this statement. I am incredibly grateful for my Christian upbringing because it has paved a path to learn about God through His people and His Word, but while religion may have changed me, it has not transformed me. It is my relationship with Christ that has cast out fear, defeated strongholds, and helped me crawl out of self pity and self loathing. It is my relationship with Christ that has peeled scales of ignorance off of my eyes and expanded my worldview, and it is my relationship with Christ that has given me insights from the Holy Spirit. I would like to share with you my most recent insight.

Grace is a small word with big meaning. One year ago I became awakened to the fact that I was familiar with the concept of grace, but the power of grace was something I had not yet accepted. How could this be when I grew up hearing about grace my entire life? After evaluating this new awakening, I was certain that I hadn’t accepted grace because I was still swallowed by shame and guilt. I didn’t feel the freedom of which people spoke. This came as a shock to me because I thought I had accepted grace. I thought learning about Christ’s death on the cross and asking Him to come into my life meant I had accepted it. Isn’t that all I had to do? Why was I still feeling chained by the past? To put it simply, I misinterpreted the word “acceptance” in this case. I had accepted a concept, but I hadn’t yet allowed grace to be personal. How do you accept something like this on a personal level? I was so confused.

I’ve been praying for almost a year that God would teach me about grace and teach me how to accept it. I believe I began to feel the power of grace when I comprehended that it could only be accepted through honesty with others and confession before God. The only way I was able to comprehend this was through spending intentional time with God in prayer, reading His Word, and discussing this with trusted family and friends.

Side note: When I think of the word “confession” I automatically think of shame and guilt. Maybe it is because those things have always been my motivation to confess. However, the Holy Spirit has been revealing to me that belief in God’s unconditional love means my motivation to confess is no longer guilt or shame. It hit me that one of the reasons I was living outside of His freedom was because I didn’t completely trust in His promises. It takes a lot of faith to believe that God’s love is unconditional when we live in a conditional world.

Getting back on track, grace can only be accepted through the belief that honest confession before God results in abundant life and love in Him. “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)There isn’t a formula to solve in order to come to this understanding. Honestly, I am only scratching the surface of understanding and I will never claim to know everything. I have much to learn, but the difference is that now I am excited to learn! I am being taught that surrendering to God means throwing off my shame, watching it dissolve, and exploding with joy to give God glory! I encourage you to pray through the clichés and look into the truth. God is full of grace, and He wants you to accept it. You can accept it and you can be free!

I pray these words and my journey offer some sort of help or insight into your own walk with God. Above all, turn to the Word and a trusted Christian figure in your life to begin seeking what it is God is longing to tell you. I can say with confidence that you may be challenged by what He has to tell you, but you will not be disappointed.

Love,
Lindsey

A Renewed Mind: Choosing the Consequences of Honesty

This blog is a continued look into how God is renewing my mind and transforming my heart. A few weeks ago I was convicted to choose gratitude in times of worry and stress. It is easy for me to go on a downward spiral of negativity, and I knew that kind of thinking was only perpetuating my anxiety as opposed to defusing it. I have begun to see small changes in my thinking, and I am learning the meaning of grace and humility.

Now I am hearing God whisper that it is time for me to embrace honesty in its entirety. Some background information: I am anticipating major life transitions with a mixture of excitement and fear. As always, transition brings change, and change brings decisions. I am feeling enormous pressure to make solid decisions in a limited time frame, and that is completely overwhelming me. This Sunday I was fervently praying that God would give me guidance. I heard Him say, “You must not be afraid of the consequences of honesty. I have called you to a life of purpose through Me, and you must walk in complete honesty with Me, yourself, and others. No matter what circumstances turn out to be, I am your Solid Rock.” My heart then kept hearing God whisper, “I am your Solid Rock. Nothing can separate you from me. Do not fear. I am your Solid Rock. Your Solid Rock. Solid Rock. . ."

When I say “honesty” I am talking about a deep rooted vulnerable honesty within myself. I am speaking of honesty that does not tolerate fear, values expressing itself, and shares from the heart. I am speaking of honesty that is less concerned with “being right” and more concerned about being alive. I want to be honest no matter what the consequences, because feeling the consequences means being alive in Christ! Feeling the consequences of honesty means allowing God to move me, teach me, guide me, and hold me. Also, feeling the consequences of honesty helps deepen relationships through reconciliation. It strengthens our understanding of ourselves and others.

I pray that as you quiet your soul before God today, you feel the Holy Spirit move you towards vulnerable honesty with Him. Below are some Scriptures that have helped guide me in these thoughts. I hope I have expressed myself well enough to bring encouragement to those who need it. Remember, God is our Solid Rock and will be with us always.

Encouragement from The Word:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8: 28

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

A Tribute to Grandpa Marler

Today is an important day in the Marler Family. It is the 1 year anniversary that our precious Luther Marler went home to be with Jesus. Luther was a dad, husband, friend, story teller, provider, and WWII veteran. To me, and to eight others, he was simply grandpa. He was also hilarious. The last time I talked with him before he died, he called me his “little sugar lump peach pie.” Oh grandpa . . . only he could refer to me as a “lump” and it be endearing.

March 7th 2010, on this side of heaven, was a day I wish would fade from my memory. My parents and sisters and I were on our way to Chicago to visit grandpa. He had recently been diagnosed with cancer and we wanted to visit him to bring laughter and encouragement. We were an hour away from his home when we got a call that he was in the hospital and had just passed away. Silence. Shock. Sorrow. Disbelief. The planned visit of laughter and encouragement turned into days of sadness and tears.

But I am not writing to share my side of the story. March 7th 2010, on the other side of heaven, was a day I wish I could get a glimpse of and lock into my memory. That was the day grandpa’s cancer was gone, his eye sight returned, his youth was restored, and he was in the presence of God. Grandpa just couldn’t wait one more hour to get to heaven! Wonder. Awe. Grace. Complete Belief. March 7th was not an end, but a glorious beginning.

So Happy Birthday grandpa! Today is a day to celebrate your first birthday as your new self. I’m sure this first birthday trumps any birthday you had here on earth, even though we did our best to make them special for you.

Grandpa, I have a confession. Sometimes, living in this world, it is hard to believe that heaven really exists. Could an Almighty Creator God really have compassion on me and invite me into His presence for eternity? I asked myself this question today as I stared out my window into the gray, rainy sky. Then, I remembered the time I was flying to Boston this September over a rain storm. I was amazed because as the plane flew over dark rain clouds we were surrounded by brilliant sunshine. The scene was truly breathtaking. I found it fascinating that the people on the ground could not see the sun through the clouds, but I was squinting from its bright yellow light.

Well, today I’m on the ground and all I see are the gray clouds, but I know the sun is shining right above them. I have seen and felt the sun before, and I will see it and feel its warmth again soon. I have not entered into heaven, but I have known God’s presence here on earth, and He reassures me of His faithful promise to bring me into His Kingdom once my work here on earth is finished. I have hope knowing the other side of heaven is just beyond the gray clouds.

I miss you grandpa. Today my mind is busy remembering you and the legacy of love, generosity, humor, and story telling you left behind. I will see you again. Until that day, you will always be my little sugar lump.

Love,
Lindsey

A Renewed Mind: Choosing Gratitude

As you may know, I have recently been enlightened by a very familiar, but crucial group of verses regarding the renewing and transformation of the mind. You can read my thoughts a few blogs back if you wish. The conviction to change my mind’s thought patterns came from Romans 12. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Of course as soon as I decide to focus in on this next phase of growth, I am tempted beyond belief to stay in the pit of my old ways. I feel like I am trapped inside of my own head and I am beginning to realize how much I really do need a mind transformation. The excitement of knowing God’s next step in my Spiritual development pushed out my old thought patterns for a moment, but they quickly reappeared when I came off the mountain top and realized this difficult road ahead.

It seems so strange to me that the very thought patterns I’m trying to get rid of are the barriers keeping me from going forward in this transformation. Example: I am the definition of a Negative Nancy or a Stressed-out Susan. (I made that Susan one up myself.) Whenever I am faced with a new challenge, I instantly tense up and think about every way I am unqualified to even try. I worry about the future, I worry about the present, I worry about what happened in the past, and I stress out that I worry too much. I doubt. I question. I over analyze. I decide something is too overwhelming before I even know the details. On top of it all, I am insecure.

Here I am, bombarded with opportunities to practice a more positive mindset and I am not doing it, or not doing it well. Maybe I feel guilty because having this many opportunities means I need to change A LOT. Maybe I’m still hanging onto an old companion named impatience. Sigh…I’m just typing unfiltered thoughts now.

I think I have a start to a solution. This solution will take much practice for me, but I would rather do that than be stuck in my old ways. I’m going to start by being thankful. I am thankful, but not intentionally thankful. I have a friend remind me of the power of gratitude today and right after that reminder, another friend emailed me this poem below. My mind then turned to Philippians 4:6 which says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It seems to me that this verse is saying when we pray with a Spirit of gratitude, God’s peace will guard our minds from the ugly stronghold of anxiety. Another sigh. . . it is time I practice a little more gratitude to change this attitude!

Be Thankful For
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~Author Unknown

A Story of Generosity

"A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25


Yesterday my friend drove 3 1/2 hours to Anderson, Indiana so he could be the volunteer speaker during a chapel service at The Christian Center (TCC). TCC is a homeless shelter for men and it is where I work. Each week volunteers host 2 chapel services for the residents of the center. The goals of the chapel services are to introduce or reintroduce Christ to men who find themselves fighting countless battles. Some men fight battles of addiction, others harbor bitterness and un-forgiveness from past abuse, while others battle guilt and self hatred from being the abuser.

I was floored that my friend would drive 3 1/2 hours one way to spend an hour talking with these men, just to turn back around the same night and drive 3 1/2 hours home. Talk about generous. It made me stop and wonder how I had been generous recently. Would I do what he did?

After the service, my friend told me that one of the residents insisted on giving him $10 for gas money as a thank you for traveling to speak with them. This particular resident does not have a job. In fact, he has been looking for one for a long time with no luck. Instead of holding onto the little cash he had, he gave it away. Talk about generous.

Today I found out that the resident who gave my friend $10 has been making a little bit of money from a small business in town. The owner of a local shop gives him $10 to shovel snow off of the sidewalks leading up to the front doors of the shop. A few days ago the business owner offered to give this man $20 if he shoveled an additional area. What do you think this man did? He invited another Christian Center resident to join him so they could split the money. Wow. Talk about generous.

How many times have I held back from giving something to someone just because I didn’t want to “run out” of whatever I’m afraid to give away? I’m even sometimes stingy with gum! I don’t want to give away my last piece because what if I need it?

I witness these stories, or I am the recipient of someone’s immense generosity and I am ashamed of myself. My friend sacrificed gas money, sleep, and time to extend hope and a listening ear. A man living in a homeless shelter gave his small day’s wages to my friend for gas money. The same jobless man gave another person the opportunity to make $10 when he could have made $20 for himself. Jesus Christ gave up His life, so that I may live to choose Him. Talk about generous.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:8-10"

I am humbled and thankful for God’s reminders to be generous through people. These stories I just told are perfect examples of why community is so essential to knowing Christ richly and deeply. Jesus’ love knows no socio-economic class, age, or gender. His love is waiting to be revealed to us through anyone who has been changed by His love. I recognized Christ’s love and generosity through a preacher and a homeless man, and in Christ’s love and generosity I can call them both friends. Praise God.

New Found Freedom

Hey friends! I am excited to share with you some news, so I’ll just get right into it! The Holy Spirit has been whispering truths into my mind. The truth I’m hearing is so different from the strongholds that have been dominating my thoughts. I can sense God saying that “it is time.” It is time for my mind to be FREE. “When anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:16-17

I don’t know why I am just now beginning to understand things I never understood before, but it is getting me pumped! Romans 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

I do not know where you stand in your relationship with Christ right now. You may be in wonder over God’s love, or you may wonder if His love really exists. All I can offer is my heart, so here it is. My entire life I have battled with the same detestable strongholds. They may wear different disguises, but the strongholds of fear, self doubt, shame, and guilt are often at the root of my decisions. Thankfully, God is chipping away the old and bringing the new. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 While I have dark moments of questioning, I choose to believe through the daily grind that God loves me, He has breathed purpose into me, and I will follow His Word.

Earlier I said I wasn’t sure exactly why I was just now willing to understand these new lessons, but I lied. =0) It is my firm belief that without daily disciplines (prayer, reading the Word, asking questions and discussing issues with Christian people, etc.), it will be difficult to hear the big lessons in life, and freedom from strongholds will be nearly impossible. The process of becoming new is just that, a process. It isn’t instant. I want God to just get rid of my addictive personality that is clothed in shame and guilt and extreme fear. I want Him to zap me of my insecurity. I get disappointed, angry, confused, and hurt when I pray and pray for Him to do things and they don’t happen. But like I said, it is a daily commitment to let go of control and let God do His transforming work. That is how we recognize His will. “. . . be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is. . .” This is hard work.

The process of having a renewed mind in Christ can be painful, but what I am learning is that when I embrace suffering and my own weakness, I am inviting Grace and Mercy into my life. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” 2 Corinthians 11:9. God longs for us to be FREE in the forgiveness of Jesus Christ and FREE in the teachings of the Holy Spirit. Will you choose to let Him set you free?

I’m not a scholarly theologian or a pastor. I don’t have all the answers. I am a mess in so many areas of my life and I have a long way to go on this journey of faith, but I do know that God is renewing my mind. I am experiencing FREEDOM like no other. It isn’t by my own doing. It is the result of an all powerful, awe-inspiring God.

I wasn’t going to share this because it is kind of a vulnerable thing, but I wrote a poem about my recent journey. I think it sums up what I’m trying to say. I pray that you begin to understand that you no longer have to allow strongholds to control your mind. As Beth Moore says, “Strongholds are only pretending to have more power over your mind than Christ. It simply isn’t true.”

Untitled

I sit alone in the silence
No one here to rescue me
No one here to rescue me from the thoughts in my head
Doubt, fear, and guilt fill me with dread

Oh God, where are you in the pain?
I can barely see through tears that sting
The silence is deafening
Then I hear you beckoning
Rescue me! Oh God rescue me!

So you stretch out your Mighty Hand
You’ve had enough
You’ve had enough of the thoughts in my head
Now its peace, grace, and love you being to thread

Oh God, please hold me in the pain
For I know you intend to kill the shame
Your glory is deafening
I can hear you beckoning
You’ve rescued me! Oh God you’ve rescued me!

May the storm of thoughts that lie and bind
Be torn away, get left behind
Cause you’re transforming my heart and renewing my mind
You’re transforming this heart, renewing this mind
I’m free! I am free!
Thank you God, I am finally free. . .


Songs that keep inspiring this new found freedom:

Beautiful Things, Gungor

Your Hands, JJ Heller
Where the Spirit of the Lord Is, Chris Tomlin

Snow Day Memories

Snow day! Wait . . . snow DAYS! My heart jumped with excitement as I got a text from my coworker saying three beautiful words, “Work is cancelled.” Oh the bliss of snow days. I remember in elementary school standing in front of the TV as the school closings scrolled slowly across the bottom of the screen. It was torture waiting to see if West Carrollton City Schools were closed since we were at the end of the very long alphabet. “T. . . U. . . V . . . W. . . West Carrollton!” My three siblings and I would scream with much joy, and go play in the snow. You know, as I am typing this I also remember the four of us longing for a fire place to get warm after a busy afternoon of building snowmen and snow forts. I guess you could call us desperate because I remember cramming ourselves together in the laundry room warming our hands around the Pilot light flame. I’m laughing so hard as I’m typing this. I’m sure the sight of four little kids shivering around a flame to stay warm was either very adorable, or very pathetic. I’m going to romanticize the memory and go with adorable. I hope as you read you are reaching back into your memories and smiling at the ridiculous things you did as a kid.

It is funny how things change when you get older. I mean, I still screamed with joy when I found out about my two snow days, but instead of going to play outside I celebrated by sleeping for another 5 hours. I guess that’s getting older for ya. I honestly think the only time I moved was to either go to the bathroom or get more junk food.

Question for all three of you who are reading this: Why is it that when a storm of any kind is about to hit, we find it completely necessary to stock up on chips and dip, cookies, pop, and other various junk foods? I don’t typically buy junk food but when I found out the “Iceocalypse” was going to hit, my friends Jess and Travis and I bought the grossest foods in the store so we wouldn’t “go hungry.” Again, I’m laughing.

I conclude this blog post by recommending the movie “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.” I’m not sure if you put movies in quotations or if you underline it like a book. Forgive my poor grammar. Anyway, the movie is a heart-wrenching- sob-your-eyes-out-I want-justice-now-kind-of-movie. If you like that kind of emotional roller coaster, please rent it.

I suppose every blog post so far has described some sort of Spiritual impact in my life. I guess I just felt compelled to write about a few memories that could be classified as “significant nothings" instead, but I did experience Christ’s love in the midst of my junk food eating, not moving, movie watching snow days. I experienced His hospitality in my friends, Jess and Travis, who let me stay at their house because I was scared of being trapped in my house without power. I experienced His caring Spirit when friends and family called or texted to see if I was okay. I experienced His grace when I took some time to journal and pray. I’m actually still trying to sift through those thoughts, so another blog soon to come. All in all, I experienced Christ in the forced rest and I am grateful for His presence. Not every moment has to be profound to recognize His power and love. He is in our every day, and every moment.

Stay safe in the “storm of the century” everyone.

Love,

Lindsey