Prayer

Have you ever had an unexpected encounter with someone that changed you? I don't mean a quick interaction, but a real encounter. A time of meeting where you left saying to yourself, "What in the world just happened?!" I seem to have a lot of those. Some good, some bad, some awkward (which are my least favorite), but every once in a while I share a moment with someone that leaves me wide eyed and praising God. I would like to share with you one of those moments.

As a bit of background, I work at a place called The Christian Center. It is a men's homeless shelter whose mission is to "offer a transformed life in Christ to the Hungry, Hurting, and Homeless." I am the Volunteer Coordinator. I get the fun task of organizing groups to volunteer their time and to learn about homelessness. And when I say "fun" I mean it. No sarcasm whatsoever. I'm learning so much and feel so grateful to be there.

Okay, back to the story. (I'm changing the resident's name for confidentiality purposes) This is an excerpt from my journal from a few months back:

How humbling it is to know that God has chosen me, a broken and imperfect girl to share His love and grace with others. Tonight was an unforgettable and unexpected blessing. As I hurried down the stairs I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I needed to get done before Bible Study. It was an 11 hour work day and I had nothing on my mind except food and comfy clothes. Then, I saw John standing alone in front of the reception office smoking a cigarette. His hands were shaking slightly and his head was down. It was getting colder outside. He must have just gotten out of the health clinic. I said hello and he lifted his head very slowly. His eyes were glossy and sad. My heart sank a little from the look in those blue eyes. I asked him how he was doing.
"Not good," he said.
That is all he said at first. After a few moments he began to tell me how he had another seizure the night before. I did my best to convey to him that I understood he was feeling scared and hopeless. (nothing is worse than feeling hopeless AND alone) But as he talked sorrow filled his voice and I wasn't sure what to say. He said the seizures were going to kill him someday. He sounded sure of it. Then it grew silent. I was speechless. My heart cried out to God for words. What could I say?!
He continued and said he knew life wasn't about being wealthy. He turned around to face The Christian Center and with a disgusted tone in his voice said, "I want so much more than this!"
Again...silence.
I felt a nudge inside of me telling me to pray with John, so before I lost courage I asked if I could pray with him. Surprisingly he let out a sigh of relief and said, "yeah."
As soon as he said yes, another resident walked by and I asked if he would like to join us. So...right there on the street corner, we huddled close with arms around one another and I began to pray. I prayed that John would have a peace in his heart that surpassed his understanding and that he would begin to seek and find God. I thanked God for John and I also prayed for his granddaughter because he asked me to before we began praying. When I said amen I fully expected John to say thank you and leave. During the prayer I could feel his sobs as he tried to hold them inside; but instead, John began to pray. He told God he had never prayed out loud and he didn't know how. He asked God to be with him. My heart smiled when he said amen.
He went on to say that he didn't feel like he could ever accept God. When I asked him why he felt that way he said it was because he had done so many horrible things and he could never be perfect.
I put my hand on his arm and said, "Oh John, no one can ever be perfect. I love Jesus and He loves me, but I'm far from perfect. I'm selfish, I say things better left unsaid, and I struggle with countless temptations, but His grace covers all of that."
He shook his head as if to dismiss it but I said, "It is like this, when you have dirty laundry you go to the laundry mat. You don't go with clean clothes. You go with dirty clothes and then you wash them, but eventually you go back with more dirty clothes. We as people are dirty and we can come just as we are to God. He washes us clean and we are brand new. But we are imperfect people and we come back to him with more dirt. God doesn't expect us to be perfect, but he does desire for us to be better. He wants us to live in love and leave our sin, but it is only by his strength that we can do that."
He looked me in the eyes and said, "Thank you for taking the time to stop and pray with me. You always ask me how I'm doing. Thank you."
He began to cry again and he said, "Lindsey, I know you have to protect yourself around here more than the other employees because you are a woman and things, so when I ask you this I don't mean disrespect, but please...I just...I need someone to hug."
He was crying even harder. I began to get teary eyed, and I hugged him. It was brief, but he hugged me tight and said, "Thank you."
He walked me to my car and told me to be careful. I watched him walk away as I drove off and my heart broke for him. I began to cry and prayed to God on his behalf.

My encounter with John changed me. I learned compassion and the power of prayer. My encounter with John was an encounter with the God that created him and me.
I continue to pray for John. Since our conversation he has left The Christian Center, and I'm not exactly sure the reason. All I know is that I won't stop praying because God has taught me the power of prayer through people like John. I think it is so cool that even though John had never even prayed out loud, God used him to change my heart. Praise be to a God whose love and peace truly does surpass our understanding.