I cannot take it anymore! I have been writing like crazy in my journal story after story and prayer after prayer, but I have not shared those stories and prayers with you in what feels life forever. This blog will be my attempt to summarize what God has been teaching me these past few months. Please stay with me as I do my best to spill out my heart using my limited English language. There are not enough words to express God's goodness.
I am a worrier. I wish I could say "warrior," but alas, I say "worrier." Major difference. I worry about everything. My first reaction to change is, "OH MY GOODNESS! How is this going to work out?!" Can anyone relate? Someone please say yes!
The big question I have been asking God is, "How can You turn this worrier into a prayer warrior?" I ask this because I know that worrying begins in the mind. Everything is a mind game. I figure that if I change my mind set from constant worry, to constant prayer, then I will begin to be more like Christ. But uh oh...there is that word again. CHANGE. As I reflected on my fear of change, I recognized that it is in times of transition when Satan pursues my mind with fierce determination. His desire is to poison my mind with thoughts of self doubt, fear, and worry. I am thankful to God that He is giving me the wisdom to decipher between truth and deception. Knowing I am being deceived by Satan is only the first step though. The next step is learning how to change my mind set from worry to prayer. Geez...
I was reading the Exodus story last night with some friends. We read about how afraid the Israelites were to walk into freedom even with all the miraculous signs God gave them. I mean, following a pillar of fire by night and having a sea be parted before your eyes?! Talk about insane! Even with those signs they had doubt and worry. But God promised them again and again that He would provide and He always followed through.
It is easy to think that the Hebrew people were ridiculous for not believing in God at times, but that is because we know the end of the story. They had years and years of oppression that caused fear and insecurity to be deep rooted into their history. I can relate to their worry. They must have thought, “How is this going to work out?!"
As I was reading the story with my friends, I stopped in my thoughts and realized that I actually do know the end of my story! My story ends with eternal life in Christ Jesus. So…I will focus my mind on things unseen (2 Cor. 5:18) and choose to have faith. I will not lose heart (2 Cor. 5:16). I will present all my requests to God, with thanksgiving, and experience a peace that saturates my heart and mind (Phil. 4:6-7) I will not worry about tomorrow because God will not fail to provide (Matt. 6:25-34). Moral of the story, this “worrier” is slowly turning…very slowly…turning into a “warrior.” Praise God.
If you can relate to this constant state of worry, be encouraged. There is hope. You may feel as though you are wandering in a desert with no direction, but God is leading you down a path of faith. Instead of worrying when the changes come, let’s remember that "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Cor. 5:17)
Love,
Lindsey
I can most definitely relate to your stated difference between a worrier and a warrior. It is so easy to get caught up in our life and not realize how big God is, something I struggle with every day.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite quotes that gives perspective on this situation is from Elizabeth Elliot where she says, "With what misgivings we turn over our lives to God, imagining somehow that we are about to lose everything that matters. Our hesitancy is like that of a tiny shell on the seashore, afraid to give up the teaspoonful of water it holds lest there not be enough in the ocean to fill it again. Lose your life, said Jesus, and you will find it. Give up, and I will give you all. Can the shell imagine the depth and plenitude of the ocean? Can you and I fathom the riches, the fullness, of God’s love?"
You are most definitely not alone in this struggle, and from the looks of it, God is working great things through your life in spite of it.
Josh, I love the imagery of the tiny seashell. It is so true. We are so hesitant to let go of what we have because we don't think we could ever retrieve it, but God has an entire ocean of possibilities. He has so much to give us out of His fullness. I really like this a lot. I have never heard of Elizabeth Elliot. I will have to look her up. Thanks for your words. They encourage me.
ReplyDelete