Bearing the Cross

"...and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:38-39

I was recently enlightened on what it means to "take up your cross." I never fully grasped what Jesus meant by bearing the cross. When I was younger I thought "taking up your cross" meant to carry your burdens with a good attitude. I suppose that is an interpretation that works in the "sort of" category, but I know it goes so much deeper.
I was sitting around a camp fire with a group of close friends and we read together from a devotional that explained "our cross," metaphorically speaking, is our flesh. Meaning, sin is the cross we bear. Therefore, I'm slowly coming to the understanding that taking up my cross means to bring glory to God by following Jesus Christ even in the midst of adversity, brokenness, confusion, and devastation. It makes sense because adversity, brokenness, etc. is the result of sin whether it be my own personal sin, the sin of the world, or a twisted combination of both.
So...what is the trick to carrying a cross? Oh, my favorite word (just kidding) submission.
So I asked myself, "What is it that I need to submit to Christ in order to bear my cross?" Like the second part of the verse says, I want to lose my life so I can find it. (That isn't confusing at all, right?!)
I came to the conclusion that (drum role please) I need to submit my selfishness to Christ before I can pick up anything and follow Him. Talk about a punch in the gut.

Submission kills the disease of selfishness and allows us to completely abandon ourselves to God. The tricky thing about selfishness, at least in my case, is that it disguises itself as victimization or humility. I've placed myself in these "humble" positions only to find that my heart had been facing a mirror instead of a window. All I could see was myself. This was me:

"Disregard the well being of others, what about ME?!"

I have known of my selfish tendencies for a long time, and God has truly been working in my heart. It hurts at first but I feel so FREE at the same moment. FREEDOM...ahh...what a sweet sweet word.
So...I'm thankful for the insight on what it means to bear the cross. It makes things a little more clear for me.