Lately, I've wished I could stop time long enough to make a few critical decisions so I don't feel the pressure of deadlines. I'm trying to decide what is next in life. Is it grad school? Is it continuing to be in the work force? Is it traveling? I don't know! I wonder about future relationships and I wonder about future ministry. What does God have for me?
I decided that because I had some major decisions coming up and because time isn't going to stop and wait for me to make those decisions, I would fast from food. I've never fasted before. It never appealed to me. I had friends that did it growing up in youth group and throughput college, but I like food way too much. =0) I always found an excuse not to do it. But for some strange reason this past Sunday I felt convicted to fast all day Monday. I wasn't sure why I was having that particular conviction on that particular day, but I figured if I was being convicted then I better do it.
My purpose for abstaining from food was to offer God an act of faithfulness. I wanted to show Him that I'm serious about following His will and not my own. With that said, each time I felt my stomach growl or wanted to eat, I would pray instead. I would thank God for His provision and for His goodness. I would pray specifically for the decisions in which I have to make soon and I would pray for guidance and wisdom. Well...I started my fast at 9pm Sunday night and by 10am Monday morning I was hungry and grumpy. Why was I doing this again?! I had thoughts like, "Well, maybe I can fast until dinner and then I can just thank God for His blessing of food the entire time I eat. That would work right?" Yeah that would work, if my purpose of fasting had anything to do with food. The point was not to avoid food. The point was to give up something I needed, so that it would remind me to focus on God. haha It is funny how temptation tricks us into forgetting our original convictions.
I prayed through my grumpiness and I prayed for wisdom. But you know what? At the end of the day I didn't feel enlightened. I didn't have the answers to my questions. I felt hungry, tired, and...that's it. So what was the point? I came to one conclusion...
Obedience.
Sometimes we have convictions and we don't know why, but it is important to obey those convictions anyway. I knew that fasting was a Biblical practice and that it could only drive me closer to God's love, so I obeyed. What I learned through this experience is that obeying God may not "make sense" to me at the time. But maybe it will make sense to me later. Obeying God through one conviction may not seem to reap any fruit, but a lifetime of obedience results in a heart full of joy, love, and faithfulness. We may not know why God is calling us to do something or take a risk. But I encourage each of us follow Him and I bet we will be amazed.
"As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 'Come follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will make you fishers of men.' At once they left their nets and followed Him." Matthew 4:18-20
Peter and Andrew left their nets at once and followed Jesus. AT ONCE. They followed their convictions and look where it led them. Andrew witnessed the greatest miracle of all time which is the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! Peter was entrusted to lay the foundation of the church! Andrew and Peter knew what their futures held without Jesus. They were fishermen. They had no idea what their futures held with Jesus. Their lives were packed with adventure. One act of obedience changed the course of Andrew and Peter's lives, and a lifetime of obedience filled them with unimaginable purpose and passion.
What is that conviction in your life? I encourage you to obey and see how God reveals Himself to you.
And by the way, I will probably fast again someday, but you better believe I will feel a strong conviction before I do! And I can honestly say that I hope it isn't anytime soon!! haha
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